Processing grief through painting, writing, and speaking
Photograph by Philippa James
I am a writer, a painter, a speaker, and a skilled lived experience contributor. My main focus, in this context, is the story of my daughter Neve’s life and her death, in relation to illness and sorrow, joy and compassion. I hope that through opening up and curating spaces for conversations like this, we can bring humanity and compassion to all of life but especially to birth and death - to the edges of life. My skill set is broad and adaptable and I am keen to make connections and facilitate tender conversations.
Are you looking to understand more about paediatric palliative care in the context of a child’s story? Would you like to commission some writing or hire a speaker for a conference or an event? How about opening up conversations about death and dying? Do you have other ideas and funding to support them?
If any of this resonates, I would love to hear from you. Connect with me.
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I am lots of things but in this space, I am both Neve’s mum and myself. I have a background in lactation support, group facilitation and administrative work, within both the charity sector and in mental health research. The past few years have nudged me in new directions and given me fresh skills and focuses. It has become increasingly clear to me that much of what we know about the perinatal period and how to support families at the beginning of life applies very much to illness, caring, palliative care and the end of life.
Photograph by Philippa James
The third of four sisters, Neve was an energetic, bright and loving child, with wild curls and an impish grin that drew the world in. At the age of seven, she was diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumour and she died nearly three years later, in 2023. Neve's final years were complex and traumatic; she endured much suffering.
Throughout her life, Neve’s sparkle and wit endured, bringing connections and laughter. We were lucky to have exceptional care from so many people within the NHS, social care, our local hospice and palliative care teams and our own friends, family and community.
Neve’s death changed her life and my life, in profound and still unknown ways.
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